154

Laxatives last night at midnight, lost a pound of weight. I know it's not real weight but still. I feel better.

Day three of being back on Prozac : / idk how I feel about it yet. I feel like I might be in a better mood but the drug hasn't really been in my system long enough to affect me. Blehh.

Yesterday I luckily was able to stay away from food all day and not have to deal with a lot of food situations but last night a bunch of friends went to get root beer floats. I told them I didn't want anything but they kind of pressured me as I've been looking rather thin compared to what I used to...So I ate a kids meal. Well most of it anyway. I didn't gain from it but I still regret it because it's not good for my body at all and I only felt guilty afterward. I need to remember that feeling so I can avoid it. Guilt. Ugh. As if I don't have enough of that.

I'm looking forward to having time to go to the gym this afternoon! After I go check out some phone options I'm going to come back to campus and go work out, hopefully for a couple of hours. Might get to 152 by Sundayyyyyy! That'd be nice. Then 148 next Sunday? I could live with that.

Goal is 125 by 12-25. Christmas.

Goal weights, in my opinion, are stupid. I'll never be done with this, but I'm afraid if I don't have a goal that I'll just spiral out of control. At least if I have an "end goal", I can fool myself into thinking all I want to do is lose a bit of weight... : (