162

Yes back to my lowest weight since I ballooned to 185 thanks to my good buddy bulimia.

BUCK FULIMIA

Anyway I guess I'm probably just dehydrated but it's still nice. Also I'm on my period so I feel like I'm retaining water--hopefully in two or three days that will all disappear too and I'll get under 160 by mid-week if not sooner. Yeah!

Don't really have time for a lengthy run today since I have to work all day and work super early in the am but I think when I get back from dropping off my sister I'll do some yoga or something for core and my arms cause I've been kind of lacking in that department.

NonED BS-

So here's what's going on in my life. My boyfriend, who is kind of ridiculous, lives in the ghetto with his illegal immigrant family. They have this adorable house and they work super hard to maintain everything. Boy is caught between that life and this one, which is all-american and is full of challenges and life. I don't think we'll ever have the same goals. I'm a world traveler and I plan to remain that way until I can't move any more. He'd travel but I think he wants vacations, and his extent of traveling is to Mexico and back. I met this other guy whose interests align with mine so perfectly, but I'm not physically attracted to him at all. The spark just isn't there. It's a friendship spark but you know how that is. I'd be happy as a clam to be his friend but I know he's totally crushing on me and wants wayyy more than that.

Can I establish the friend zone without hurting his feelings? And can I have a travel buddy like him forever? What if he just ended up being my lifelong partner without romantic involvement? I could live with that.

But B just hasn't done anything to warrant me breaking up with him. He accepts my addiction, my ED, and my craziness. He tries to help as much as he can but he backs off when I need it. He gives me space and he still keeps his friends. He's almost too good.

I just feel like...he could be the one for me but what else is out there? And I guess if he really was the one for me I wouldn't have all these questions.

Hmm.

Why do I have this problem all the time?