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I am only defined by my weight.
I am only a number on a scale.
I am only as good inside as I am thin on the outside.

If I am not thin, then I am weak.
If I am not thin, then I am ugly.
If I am not thin, then I have no control.

I feel pressured to be thin.
I feel pressured to control my intake.
I feel pressured to exercise.

Nobody cares if I am thin.
Nobody cares if I have bulimia.
Nobody cares if I don't eat.

That's why I have to make them care.

I will be so thin that it's scary.
I will be so thin that they can't help but stare.
I will be so thin that they'll notice.

I won't be fat forever.
I won't let my body trap me.
I won't let my body lie to me.

I am the only one responsible for my weight.
I am the only one who can control what I eat.
I am the only one who says whether I can be thin or not.


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Every time I eat I get stomach cramps. I don't know if it's a mental or physical problem. I should just stop and deal with the hunger. I know it will be bad for two or three days but then it will subside so if I can just get past that three day fasting hump again I'll be ok.

I'll be clean!
Skinny.
Thin.
Light.
Beautiful.
Delicate.
Gorgeous.
Bony.
Tiny.
Elegant.
Lithe.
Catlike.

The envy of all girls who ever thought I was overweight.