145 ish.

Welp.

Went to IP, they didn't force me to eat since I'm "bulimic" and I shared most of my food with another girl so I lost five lb.

Not exactly their goal but it sure is mine.

I'd like to say I feel more positive, love my body, blah blah blah but the sheer truth is that I still want to lose 25 more lb and maybe then some.

I want to be 115. Maybe 110. The closer I get to my goal, the lower it goes.

Tiny meals of low-cal foods to put my friends and family off of figuring it out. Sleeping, taking my meds, and doing my hair and makeup every day to ensure I look healthy so they don't flip as I get thinner.

Hiding it until I'm there.

Fuck them. I didn't want to go to IP this time and I certainly don't want to get better right now.

I hate this hell but I love being thin more.


Maybe I'll be less fucked up one day.