143

Well I am restarting the ABC because I had a weekend away from home where I was being watched like a hawk. I didn't gain, but I didn't lose dramatically either.

I am thinking about, no definitely taking laxatives tonight. I don't usually think of them in weight loss terms but it seems like they usually push me over the edge of my next goal (which is 140). I've been stuck here for ages and I'm tired of it. Time to get rid of those lbs. No excuse for being this weight for a month. I remember it took so long to get out of the 60's, the 50's, and now here. I would be losing easier if I was at school : (

Maybe I will just pretend I'm ok and go back in the spring...At least that way I can get skinny again without being watched like a hawk. But it's kind of tempting. I'm on the cusp of getting treatment...

Then I don't have to be like this anymore.

But. . . I'm not at my goal yet : ( I can't bear to think about stopping.